A
Squat Clean - 1 rep on the min for 15min @ 225# (perfect mechanics across)
Cake walk. Felt fast and popped out of the hole pretty easily on most. There were a couple that I sat a little too far back on my heels and had to stopped myself from falling back. Was successfully able to do so. This is the lightest 225# has ever felt. I'm pretty confident I could do the 30 squat cleans @ 225# tester in sub 7.
B
Clean Grip Deadlift - 3,2,1; rest 3min (build, must maintain perfect hip/spine mechanics)
Result: 405 / 455 / 475
Good stuff. PR here for a clean grip DL.
C.
BB Push Press - 3 x 5; 3min (building to wrist tolerance)
Result: 225 / 255 / 275
Wrist felt fine but head/neck felt awful. I, again, experienced a very intense basal skull muscle spasm on the last rep of the last set. This laid me out for a very, very long time.
D.
Band Assisted 30" Box Lateral Step-up - 4 x 6-8 ea leg; rest 60sec b/t legs (should be starting from full-depth squat)
This felt alright. I was really dazed from the spasm.
PM
Didn't do the PM session today. This morning really fucked me up. This time it was the same amount of pain when it happened, however the primary difference is it just lingered and was persistent. I couldn't shake it until just now (9:30pm CT).
It's been a rough few weeks lately, personally and on the business side of things. It has pushed me to the point where I recognize that, if it wasn't for Evelyn and Rachel, I probably wouldn't be alive anymore. I'm having incredible difficulty being happy with anything outside of my wife and daughter. Every day I just want to stay in bed with the lights off and not move. I'm in a very dark place right now and I would really like to come out of it. Luckily, Rachel is helping me get through this but I feel awful about that because she has enough on her plate from work and her own problems. She's helping me recognize the causation of this mentality and I'm going to write it out:
1) constantly being proud of personal improvements in CrossFit when I truly shouldn't be. There are many others who keep me very humble
2) overwhelming stressors from my family and Rachel's family
3) I'm watching my freind's relationships fall apart and end in divorce or separation
4) I have no future within a career and I'm terrified that I'm going to fail Rachel and Evie when Rachel gets out of the Army
5) I'm not taken seriously at the box at all...I'm the substitute teacher and I'm treated as such by almost all of our members
6) I keep getting hurt
7) I'm letting a lot of people down by not getting my Masters from IU. I got into the Applied Sport Science program and I'm not going to be able to fulfill that. It's not possible and it's frustrating since a minimum of a Masters degree is crucial to developing a career in fitness.
Perhaps I'm just being childish but I've been feeling like this for a good minute. I just don't want to be alive anymore, but I'm not going to put Evelyn and Rache through anything like that. I'll come out of this eventually.
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